Marco.org

Shit

Bad idea

Why

Finally, fresh air

I hope I don’t smell like second-hand armpits now.

It would be like if a guy farted in the elevator, then left, then someone else got on. You have to assume blame for an offense you didn’t commit, or try to somehow communicate, “It wasn’t me.”

(as recently discussed on YLNT, which I would link to if I wasn’t on an iPhone)

Fat Ohio

I never noticed it while growing up here, but now that I’ve lived elsewhere full-time for 4 years with almost no visits, it’s clear as day.

Everyone here is fat and looks the same.

I don’t mean that to be inflammatory or insulting to fat people. It’s just an observation — a generalization based on a very prominent majority. I thought the plane’s passengers were just a bad sample group, but they accurately represented most people here.

We went to a casual restaurant for lunch. The staff was all fat. The customers were all fat. If I actually ate all of the food I was served, I’d be fat too. The portions were ridiculously huge, and the food’s composition wasn’t even trying to be reasonable — everything was fried, fatty, oily, sugary, or salty (pick any three). I ordered a Greek-style chicken wrap. How could that be unhealthy? Ohio found a way: by filling it up with thick salad dressing. It was easily 30% dressing by volume. There were no air gaps. (And someone needs to tell Ohio that a “wrap” is supposed to be small enough to be easily held in one hand.)

We walked everywhere. It looked weird because nobody walks here. (The passing drivers were all fat, too.) The sidewalks are in pristine condition because nobody has walked on them since they were paved for the most recent sterile cookie-cutter developments. They were awkwardly routed around the ultra-wide street corners, with the crosswalks 15 feet into the blocks so drivers (unfamiliar with pedestrians) might have a chance to see people crossing while they’re turning their SUVs at 30 miles per hour.

I feel like I’m in a different country.

Missing New York

I’m missing New York only 12 hours into my trip.

I miss Tiff and our daily life. I miss the coffee roaster and train deli.

I miss the noise. I live in a very quiet suburb, but it’s a bustling metropolis compared to the stark silence of a Columbus suburb at night. My ears are ringing.

But as weird as this is, I also miss the New York Tumblrs. It’s odd, since I barely know any of them and have only seen them a handful of times. But I feel like I’m missing all of this cool stuff happening in New York, and they all have their great energy there. They represent what makes New York great to me — I’ve never felt like I fit in anywhere as well as I do there. Certainly not here in Ohio.

My Tumblr friends are just as much a part of my New York experience as anything else in my daily life. We share our personalities and intellects. We share photos and videos of ourselves working, walking, and cooking. I feel like I’m connected to so many people’s lives simply by being a regular observer. In addition to my own very fulfilling life, I’m living alternatives vicariously through so many others.

(Sorry if this isn’t making sense, or if it’s overly sappy. I feel like a crazy artist tonight. This is what late-night Ohio boredom does if you’re not a drunken teenager.)

But I feel like Ohio is trying to steal me back. Trying to make me forget about New York. Singing its siren songs of huge $180,000 houses and painless 10-minute drives to the airport. (A decent house in Larchmont costs $1.2 million, and I had to leave my apartment at 6:20 to make a 9:20 flight.)

I’m hanging out so much on Tumblr (and IRC) partially out of boredom, but mostly because I’m addicted to New York and this is my only link to it right now.

It’s going to be a long 2 days.